1/13/25: A Prosperous Start

Date: January 13, 2024

Time of Day: Around 5:15 PM

Meditation length: Short (around 10:00 min)

Notes:

What an abundant meditation (despite its short time) to serve as this blog's first zazen entry! Many things to take away from this one...

My dog gets immensely stressed when certain people leave the house. I was the only one home today, so I had to bring him with me to the place I planned to meditate in. Now, originally (foreshadowing), I found this unfortunate. I didn't want to annoy him by sitting still in one place for a while, so I knew I should walk him beforehand, further delaying the meditation. Additionally, since my dog has aggression towards other dogs (he was bitten by a dog some years ago and developed trauma), I knew I'd have to be aware of my surroundings, and also keep him on a short leash for safety. With all this in mind, I wasn't super optimistic when I sat down in a nearby garden (right in front of a beautiful white Buddha statue, surrounded by an exquisite ring of flowers, may I add). However, if Zen is about anything, expectations is not it, so I placed my dog's leash beneath me, and sat down, aiming to clear away my thoughts.

Of course, my mind is thinking about this very blog: "What will you write?" "What will the structure be?" etc. etc.... I started thinking to myself, maybe this isn't such a good idea. It seems this blog is taking away the entire point of zazen. But then another part of me chimed in with Slow down. It's just the first time. Of course your a bit excited. Overall, this new project will be a good one. Y'know, standard brain banter. Anyway, on top of this, I hadn't had food in hours, and it was getting late in the day (which was a problem, considering the unfinished work I had to complete).

And yet, throughout the whole experience, none of these disturbances ever took a hold of me. They always seemed to be in a corner of my mind, gossiping amongst themselves, but never minding (or associating with) me. 

That's when this sudden feeling of great exaltation cam upon me (Gosh, that's a good word: exaltation). My heart opened up like a flower, and I got this subtle response to all of the nay-saying thoughts, not from that indiscreet corner of my mind, but from the true entirety of it:

"None of that changes anything"

And that was it. Nothing else was needed to define that great feeling of enlivened stillness. In fact, this mind-response wasn't even what brought the feeling in first place: the pure act of zazen did, and my mind merely popped out a rough translation of the simple rebirth that was that great feeling. And that makes sense, since the mind has nothing to do with it: zazen doesn't concern the mind. Zazen doesn't exist to answer questions (although answers might emerge from it), let alone with linguistic mental responses. Zazen exists for stillness, balancing the Two Perspectives, immersing the meditator in the One Reality. Or something like that. Language can never quite hit these kind of descriptions spot on, can it? ;)

Lastly, by the end of the meditation, the story of The Cat Who Taught Zen came to my mind out of nowhere: the Cat, seeking enlightenment, goes on a journey to reach a sacred tree, making many friends along the way. However, once he reaches the tree, a small, younger cat continually prods him with questions and thoughts and games (at least as I remember it). The Cat, annoyed, urges him to go off, so he can simply lay in the tree's branches and meditate. However, after only a bit of doing so, he realizes something powerful: Sitting in this tree was getting him nowhere. That little kitten below was the enlightenment he was seeking. And he went with him. (Forgive my flawed summary, I haven't read the story in some time, but I really recommend it)

I realized that I was like the Cat, and my dog the kitten, in many ways: there I was, pushing him away like some obstacle in the path to awakening, when in reality, he was part of the path to awakening, as is every moment of life. This meditation was meant to have him with me, or else he wouldn't be with me. Not in an "Everything is pre-decided by some guy in the sky" kind of way, but in a "Everything in life is here to help you. Everything is here because it should be," kind of way (again, language is tough). I opened my eyes (side not: have you ever noticed how different things look around you when you open your eyes post-meditation?) and gazed at my dog: He was still a bit nervous, but he sat still, smelling the wind with a look of curiosity in his eyes. Maybe I wasn't the only one who benefitted from this little session, either :)